Issues around single parents dating
The institution of marriage has taken a severe beating in modern times and the concept of living in relationships and many divorces has meant that there are many single parents out there looking for potential partners. Unfortunately many among them have a tendency to feel rather spent and isolated and do not venture into fresh dating, That is rather ironical because from a dating perspective, they are the ideal group of people to woo since they have already demonstrated their ability to raise a family, have lived with somebody and would thus know the pros and cons of a relationship and have also undergone the trials and tribulations of married life. They thus have all the right and eligibility criteria to get back into active dating and their partners should feel happy that they have been able to find somebody so experienced.
But things do not quite work out that way. Single parents spend a lot of time tending to their children as one means of killing time outside work and as a means to fill the void created by the separation from their partner. They do tend to withdraw them selves from the social scene and want more time for them selves to get over a broken relationship. Very few of them realize that by spending more and more time with the children and not getting social, they are being hard on the child or children. Adult needs can only be satisfied by adults – be it intimacy, companionship or simple reassurance about things on a daily basis. By expecting children to make up for the vacuum created due to the separation, they could end up burdening the children and subject them to the unnecessary pressure of shifting the onus on them to make such parents happy. Though the children would also want their parents to be happy, they are just not in a position to fulfill all the needs of an adult and despite their best efforts would find them selves short.
So what is the solution?
The only way is to get back into the dating scene and approach the process with the benefit of the experience already gained. The only difference this time around would be the qualities such parents would want in their potential partner. Those would now have to complement the children and the changed life style of the single parent. Looking for another single parent could be a possible solution due to the commonality of the situation and the possibility of each other understanding the other point of view. The ideal places to meet with such people besides the internet would be social gatherings, the church or even going along with the kids to events that encourage meeting of parents without partners.
Support groups such as a divorce support one is another avenue worth looking at for meeting other parents who do not currently have their partners. The key is regular adult interaction. This will open up opportunities to find a partner of choice and also keep the parent mentally stimulated to enjoy life all over again. It will surely go a long way in helping the parent forget thoughts of helplessness and isolation and make him or her look forward to living life with vigor and enthusiasm.
